Dear Ted

Dear Ted,

I find myself scrolling through your pictures
Thinking about the good times we had, makes the pain even greater
We spent a couple hours together last night, and now you're gone 
I'm confused, I don't know how life is supposed to move on

Ted..
You are the greatest man
Always had a smile, even if you couldn't stand
You took care of yourself, but most importantly always took care of others
That is why every post about you I hear the repetition of those calling you thy brother
Yet now that your gone I find myself full of anger, but i know Ted wouldn't want that
I'm sad to the point of depression, but I know Ted wouldn't want that
I'm full of rage at the world, but I know Ted wouldn't want that
I just want to cry and breakdown, but I know Ted wouldn't want that
So I'm going to show strength , because Ted would want that
I'm going to persevere, because Ted would want that
Life is fragile, and I'm going to work harder in every aspect of life, because Ted would want that
Even though things will not be easy,
I'm going to smile through them all, to honor Ted
Because Ted would want that

Mr. Jock

Mr. Jock by Blake Simons ©

Mr. Jock

Big build, curly hair, darker skin, shoulders stock

All you know is the field, in the class you never talk

Can he articulate intellectually? I think not

That was your first thought, before I even talked

Mr. professor you're wrong

You knew it after the semester was over

You said when you saw me walk in the first day of instruction that you would have never thought I would turn out to be one of the smartest in the class

I just smiled, and laughed

Shrugging it off is a normal fallacy

In my head I said what an ass

Mr. professor

Before you judge me next time

Think.

Just think before you fulfill your negative stereotypes about a person

of color who has an athletic build in a predominantly white class

So Mr. Professor..

This is my time to tell you who I AM even though you knew who I WAS by

looking at me when I walked in your class

This will be simple

You won't need a PhD to understand my life.

If this was a test you should pass.

If you knew me,

If you really knew me you would understand the struggle it’s been to

get where I am

If you knew me you would know I had to stop playing the sport I loved

for a year because of the PTSD and depression I suffer as a result of

being abused from the person society tells me to call dad

If you knew me you would know that I had two surgeries in one year and

barely stepped on the field but despite that, I am an honor student

who volunteers and gives back

A student who dreams of a better world and takes steps to change it

rather than succumbing to my pain and falling victim to the

stereotypes.

My perseverance is a constant, it never slacks

So Mr. Professor

If you knew me

You would think twice about insisting that I am only a jock

If anything

I am the furthest thing from that

Masked Past

Masked Past

By: Blake Simons ©

Mask on, who are we

Pretending everything's okay, manipulating how we see.

Fancy cars, big screen TVs, in an attempt to string free from reality

Often time’s truth brings pain, half-truths filled that everything is okay

Lies built up for years at hand

To no surprise rage, anger, and depression take the stand

Who are we, who are we

Problems buried so deep we cannot see

Who are we, who are we

Problems buried so deep mentally we bleed

Alcohol and drugs used to try and cope with the symptoms

Of an abused man who tries hard not to fall victim

Tribulations faced in an attempt to make it out alone

His own soul diminishing, the more denial, the more it's gone

40 plus years of pain that's never been understood

He thought he could deal with it on his own, alone he stood

Same thing his father did to him he inflicted on his own son

Now I am here standing looking down the barrel of a gun

Pain and trauma manifesting to where there is no rising of the sun

Psychological wounds so deep, even the brightest of times don't seem fun

What is there to look forward to when the past and present seems so dim

Post traumatic stress and depression makes blessings so glim

When it rains, it pours, the pours manifest to storms

Eventually the clouds subside, the sun eventually begins to form

The dampness on the road, reminds one of the blue pasts red it bleed

Inner strength turns the blue into green, and a determination to succeed

Ones demons sometimes reminded by a blue rainy day

 The mentality of a survivor and thriver ends the devils mental blood blue parade.

My Brother's Keeper

This poem describes the struggle I had with losing a friend to suicide. The guilt, the heartache, the pain, the denial, and trying to find peace in the mist of it all. This is for you tyler. 

My Brother's Keeper

Cruising down highway 5, smiles and good times

This is supposed to be the time of my life

A text from my mom revealed societies stigmas crime

Tyler’s gone

He took his own life

Pure silence as tears flowed through my eyes

“What’s wrong” is everything alright?

Slowly uttering through my vocal chords I replied, Tyler died, he took

his own life 

I can’t believe it, a nightmare in real life

We talked yesterday and everything was okay

You were supposed to be at my graduation party, but you were grounded that day

My brother called, in attempt to get you to come

I wish you had left the house so I wouldn’t still be so numb

20 minutes later you succumbed to your mental pain

Since June 10th, life has never been the same

It’s all my fault, I should have picked you up that day

I should have made you slow down on the 24 highway

If you never got that speeding ticket, maybe you would have never been grounded

If I paid more attention and knew your dad was a cop

I could have pleaded with the officer to forget about the speeding stop

I saw you at school with your headphones in

Your face looked down as if you committed a pile of sins

I asked you what was wrong and you said everything is alright

Little did I know you were beginning to lose your mental fight

I wish we sat down and talked longer that day

I would have told you I’m here for you and it will all be okay

Having to bury you was the hardest thing I’ve done

For the longest time it was like I couldn’t see the sun

I would give up everything I have to talk for 5 minutes today

All I would tell you is everything is okay

Now 3 years have passed and I’m finally coming to peace

Your death was a blessing in disguise, something I never thought I’d see

You helped me deal with my past, and child abuses wrath

But most importantly, you taught me to be my brothers keeper.

Rest in Paradise. 

By: Blake Simons 
Copyright 2014 ©